Note from tha editor:Do not tell N00bs or some pervs(Chivalrous pervs is fine though...),people from all across tha universe is comin ta tha interwebz on how tha fuck ta git all up in Gensyokyo tha fuck into a realitizzle dat most touhou fandom like our asses have always wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. This could sharply enchizzle yo' erection,fantasies n' paranormal encountas fo' realz. Against that, biatch? Then don't do dat shiznit son! But if you wanna peep yo' waifu or become a thug up in Gensyokyo,wear yo' pantizzles n' give it a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shot!
HOW TO GO TO GENSYOKYO
Tired of thankin bout havin funk wit Flandre all tha time, biatch? Want ta fuck wit yo' waifu n' feel her directly, biatch? Yo ass can gotz a permanent residence up in Gensyokyo by goin there.
1.Yo ass must believe dat Gensyokyo exists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scare a jet black pussaaaaay up in yo' backyard,play Touhou games,watch animations bout Touhou then chill like a pimp n' tickle yo' momma before dis shiznit fo' realz. All dat mattas is yo' faith n' arousal.
2.Afta yo' spirit&soul leaves yo' body ta tha trip ghetto,go ta tha backyard of yo' house(In tha trip of course!)and wait fo' 15minutes n' starin all up in tha location of tha pussaaaaay dat you just scared off up in tha mornin all up in tha same time ta reach Makai,dependin if yo ass be a phat thug or a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but worth ta wait if you wanna git all up in Gensyokyo without losin yo' focus on tha catz spot.
3.When you git ta Makai,jump ta tha portal all up in tha straight-up right.
4.Climb up tha stairs.
5.Wiggle all up in tha tiny hole dat you should peep all up in tha left side.
6.Da place you should at now be lookin like a pimped out mansion dat tha counselor of Gensyokyo be reppin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Talk ta tha maid standin up in tha corner n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Say,Hi! ta her,then wave yo' hand wildly,lick her shoes,and then headbutt her n' shiznit fo' realz. A dimensionizzle gap should step tha fuck up behind you, biatch.
7. Jump ta tha gap immediately. Da gap will only sustain fo' 3 secondz before it closes. If you failed fo' tha straight-up original gangsta try,quit freakin' tha fuck out. Yo ass git a second try n' thatz dat shit.
8.Yo ass should be standin next ta a gangbangin' fainted youkai or monsta hoe dat is yo' own avatar up in dis ghetto(Gensyokyo). Dive tha fuck into tha body n' move round a lil bit.
9.A jar head biatch wit chronic hair(the judge of hell) or Yuuka(the counselor of Gensyokyo) will appear.Bitch should be askin you whether you want or not ta stay up in Gensyokyo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Say,yes!
10.Congratulations muthafucka! Yo ass is now officially livin up in Gensyokyo. To return ta Earth,dial 1-800-GAP SERVICES or tell Shikieiki yo ass is gay fo' realz.
TIPS +Do not skip any of tha steps.
+Be polite ta Yuuka n' Shikieiki
+Have a smile on at all times
+Headbutt tha maid on tha corner straight-up,reeeaaaally HARD,or else tha gap aint gonna appear.
+Have funk conversin n' bustin thangs together wit yo' waifu.
+To summon Shikieiki up in order ta go back ta Earth,just take a thugged-out dirtnap n' yo big-ass booty is ghon be busted ta her muthafuckin ass.
WARNINGS -If you failed ta jump tha fuck into tha gap tha second time durin tha maid level,you is ghon be doomed inside Mugenkan wit tha maid fo' tha rest of eternity.
-If you tell Shikieiki yo ass is gay,she will hit you wit 3 secondz ta prepare before she grabs yo' ass n' throw you all tha way back tha fuck into yo' home.
-If you tell Yuuka dat you like flowers n' shows appreciations towardz them,she will hit you wit a special sunflower dat is capable of castin a lesser version of tha Masta Spark which is still straight-up dangerous.
-Beware of a Neko dat is bustin a schoolgirl uniform wit dark n' smooth hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is straight-up tha manifestation of tha pussaaaaay dat you scared earlier n' is lookin forward ta pay you back tenfoldz fo' what tha fuck you did ta her muthafuckin ass.
-Do not bother Yuuka when she aint round you,because her ass is hyped ta open a lesbian sex jam plus bdsm activitizzles up in Mugenkan n' will drag you ta join in.Yo ass might end up bustin up like a biatch up in fear cuz its dirty all up in tha same time its freaky af.
-Battle wit N00bs n' overly perverted peeps dat fuck up Gensyokyo wit yo' magical powers. It aint nuthin but not a game,but itz like GTA up in real game but itz on Gensyokyo.