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Touhou Love Stories: The Bad Ends (second thread)

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Saigyou Ayakashi (by Nameless Wraith Sealed in a Cursed Book, 2008-02-27)

The Story: A tree hugger at heart, you finally journey to the home of the most wonderful of all trees: the Saigyou Ayakashi. After creeping and skulking around to evade the notice of the gardener and the ghost princess, you manage to meet and hit it off with the tree. Two minutes later, you engage in freaky interspecies sex.

The End: Yuyuko digs up her own corpse so that she can have a 'human half' for Imperishable Night, unsealing the Saigyou Ayakashi, and allowing it to resume it's man-eating rampage. You, due to already being 'inside' the tree at the time, are the first to be devoured.

Aya Shameimaru (by Nameless Fairy, 2008-02-27)

The Story: You have always been the biggest fan of the Bunbunmaru newspaper. For you, life has been little more than the dull, repetitive humdrum of gathering herbs for your family's shop until the next issue of Bunbunmaru News arrived. Your friends and family dislike it for its sporadic, seemingly random releases and trite, out-of-date stories. Not you, though. You love these things about it, seeing them as adorable quirks to make it seem not so rigidly professional, and you find the newspaper itself both highly entertaining and highly informative. "Aya Shameimaru" says the "Staff" portion of the paper....Such a wonderful publication can only be crafted by a highly intelligent, clever, and charming woman!

While in the nearby forest gathering herbs one day, you unknowingly wander off from your typical path. When you realize you are, in fact, lost, you become worried. Suddenly, you spot a woman crouched down, looking through a camera, apparently trying to photograph something. You instantly recognize her as the only Aya Shameimaru. She certainly is much more beautiful in person than her photograph you saw in Bunbunmaru News. That beautiful black hair...that poise with which she holds her camera...Your heart races and your breathing accelerates, and you hesitantly step forward to introduce yourself to your lifelong love. But as soon as you do, a twig snaps underneath your foot, at which Aya's gaze snaps your direction, then she flies off quick as an arrow.

Kanako damn that twig.

Nevertheless, seeing the image of your beloved has lifted your spirits and put a spring in your step. You find your way out of the forest with little trouble and even manage to gather a much larger load of herbs than normal.

As the following week passes, you find yourself purposefully getting lost many times and seeing the beautiful tengu a few times, but she only ever disappears swiftly when you attempt to confront her....Is there something wrong with the way you look? Smell?

As you ponder these things returning to your home one evening, your heart stops then quickly starts racing, because Aya has shot down from the sky and landed a few feet in front of you. Before you can get a word out, Aya speaks with a stern look on her face:

"Excuse me, but I would kindly ask that you don't interrupt my work again."

No! That's all wrong! You quickly utter an embarrassed apology and explain that your intentions are not to disturb her; you simply wanted to meet her because you simply adore her newspaper. Her expression then softens to surprise. After a few seconds of awkward silence, you then tell her you'd love to visit her and chat sometime. After a moment's consideration, she approves and tells you she'll keep an eye out tomorrow for when you stop working. She then flies off, with a small smile and a light blush on her face.

The next day of work seems to last almost no time at all; you meet your quota of herbs in record time and return to the village. When you step outside the store from dropping the herbs off, you see Aya waiting patiently there.

"Ah, there you are." she says. "Well, shall we head to my place, then?"

You agree.

"All right, then. Hang on tight!"

At this, she grabs your arm and carries you high into the air at an exhilarating velocity. Never in your life have you experienced such an exciting sensation, to fly above the clouds at breakneck speed, the world of Gensokyo an array of tiny dots of color speeding beneath you.

After a few minutes, a large mountain looms into view. You spot a small, charming cabin high up on a bluff toward which Aya is speeding. The two of you light on the front porch of the cabin. Your knees nearly buckle when your feet touch the ground, as you are weak from excitement.

"You okay?" Aya asks cheerfully. "Well, come on in and relax."

You happily oblige. Her cabin is full of papers stacked neatly in the corners, lots of photography equipment sitting around, and beautiful photographs of Gensokyo's landscape hanging on the walls.

Aya fixes tea for you, and you spend what feels like hours talking with her about Bunbunmaru News, life in the village and on the mountain, your and her lines of work, the powerful humans and youkai you read about in Bunbunmaru, and countless other things. Unfortunately, you notice the sun setting, and tell Aya that you need to get back home. "Very well," she says, and the two of you go outside. She flies you back to the village and suggests that you two meet again sometime, at which you agree enthusiastically.

As the days go by, you find yourself spending more and more time with Aya. You eventually confess feelings of love to her. Surprised, she reveals that she has the same feelings for you. You start cuddling late into the evening, which leads to kissing, which leads to groping, which leads to [censored because this is not really supposed to be a porn story]. You feel like you have reached the highest enjoyment possible from life.

The End: One day, Aya asks if you'd like to help her with her work. You consent, and then she says:

"Oh, but I can't just keep pulling you around forever....Here, just a second." She rummages through some drawers and cabinets and finally finds a ring, which she hands to you. "Wear this, and you can fly on your own."

Happy to at last have your own means of conveyance through the sky, the two of you set off into the Forest of Magic. As you descend through the trees, you don't notice a big tree limb that's a few feet ahead and it lops your head off.


Next time, practice a dangerous art like flying before you do it for a living!


As you and Aya are in bed one night, the door to her cabin slams open, revealing a thin, middle aged man with a burning fury in his eyes. He reveals his name to be ZUN, then he smashes an empty beer bottle over your head and guts you with it. He then kicks Aya's ass and has angry sex with her, because she was adulterous.

Eirin Yakogoro (by Nameless Fairy, 2008-03-01) (permit needed)

The Story:

You are a brilliant student attending the most prestigious university in your country. Opening the door to your bathroom one morning, you see a strange distortion around your toilet. However the late night partying has left you with little sense in the morning, you unzip your pants and slowly inch your way towards the toilet anyway...

Falling through the portal of unknown origin, you find yourself lost within a bamboo forest and soon become sick and tired from starvation. Luckily, after you passed out, Mokou finds you and brings you to the Eientei for medical treatment

You wake up in a large lab filled with strange and disturbing things. After stumbling around and finding the exit, you're greeted by a silver haired woman just before you're about to escape.

She greets you with an eerie smile on her face, to which you reply with the generic demand of knowing where you are. She introduces herself as Eirin Yagokoro and starts explaining the details of your plight, but soon becomes engrossed in her words about her own researches, completely neglecting your existence.

Due to both your extensive academic prowess and secret obsession with the occult, you are able to understand many of the subjects of her studies. You interrupt her and begin giving your own take on her work. Impressed, she decides to spare you for the moment.

As the days go by, Eirin has adopted you as a research partner and a friend. She even tolerates the occasional burst of lust you've built up and lets you freely choose among Reisen and the other moon rabbits as you please. However, something doesn't feel quite right within your heart. Deep down, you know the one you truly want is Eirin and Eirin alone.

One stormy night. You and Eirin has just finished another vile experiment on Reisen. As the other rabbits are cleaning up, she walks towards you from behind, intending to give you a pat on the back for the good job. However, tired from exhaustion, she stumbles just a little and falls toward you. Turning around just in time, you catches her within you arms. Looking straight at the grateful smile formed by her beautiful lips, you can no longer contain the secret in you and confesses your love to her. Surprisingly, she replies that she has felt the same about you. The next few hours are the most unforgettable experience in your life yet, eventually ending with Eirin asleep in your arms.

The End:

Power (intellectual), love, and a purpose in life. You have it all. Feeling invincible from the realization and rush, you run out naked into the still raining night and shouts loudly, daring anyone to come and challenge you on this glorious night.

Just as you're ready to head back in, a swarm of youkai appears before you, intending to make an example of this arrogant human.

As the foul beasts struck, a tremendous bolt of lightning came down from the heavens, instantly killing you.

Although it freed you from the slow and painful death that the youkai had planned, it left no trace of you whatsoever. The mere weeks you spent in the Eientei were nothing to those who have lived for centuries and the memories of you were soon forgotten.

Sanae Kotiya (by Nameless Fairy, 2008-03-01) (permit needed)

You're some spineless scrawny Japanese student, as usual with this kind of situation. She's an awe-inspiring priestess, who is to be able to perform miracles. She is also beautiful and you want to get to know her and maybe bone her perhaps. However, you are too much of a faggot to grow some balls and talk to her. One fateful day, you go up to the roof to have lunch, only to find her sitting alone.

This spirals into the usual cliché anime romance crap, i.e. oh um hey blah blah blah you forgot your lunch wanna share mine blah blah I'd think somebody as amazing as you would have a bunch of friends blah blah your parents oh well I've always kinda admired you but couldn't work up the courage to say hi blah blah blah okay it's been great talking to you see you later. Then of course you start hanging around her and get into all sorts of wacky misfit misadventures around school and her shrine with her wacky rope-loving mom, as your love blooms like a fucking daffodil. You really love her.

Then one day she tells you she has to go. You ask her if something's wrong. She just replies that her mom wants to move somewhere else. You're kinda relieved, and ask when she's leaving. She doesn't know yet. You figure that you've still got a while together, but ask if she's gonna keep in touch, just in case. She just puts on a sad smile and says, "I really hope so." You say you'll see her tomorrow, and give her a peck on the cheek as a kind of in-the-moment kind of thing. She starts to cry, which bewilders you and makes you run off.

You stop by a shop and buy a necklace to give to her tomorrow. However, as you pass by her shrine the next day going to school, you find cops and the media surrounding the place.

It's gone. The shrine, the lake behind it, no evidence they were ever there. Apparently, the girl who took care of it was missing from her apartment, where she had lived alone since her parents died. You shout out "She had a mother! I met her!" A cop hears you, and tells you she was all alone, no living family. Confused, you wander to school late. She's absent.

After school, you go back to the shrine. Where did she go? What happened to the shrine? Who was her "mom"? You sit down in front of what used to be the shrine. You wait.

You stop going to school. Your parents try to drag you back home, but you don't move. People become accustomed to you sitting there, and sometimes give you things to eat. Time passes. Seasons change. Years go by. The world around you changes. You age.

But you wait. And you wait. You become haggard with age, disease, and malnutrition. But you wait. Things begin to fade. You struggle to keep you eyes open. How will you look for Sanae if they're closed?

But it's hard to keep the open. You're tired. Not tired of waiting, of course. You'll wait forever. But your body is tired.

Maybe if you rested for a while, you could wait better? I mean, as long as you stay in place, Sanae could find you when she comes back. Yeah, she'd just give you a nudge, wake you right up. You lay your head down. You really don't want to close your eyes, you gotta wait for Sanae.

But it's so hard. Your eyes slowly close.


Executive Producers
Matt Groening
David X. Cohen

Kaguya Houraisan (by Nameless Fairy. 2008-03-02)

The story:

As years go by after the moon incident, the royal lunarian and her court living in the bamboo forest become widely known in Gensokyo. To you, they're just another of the strange, unproportionally powerful semihumans who interact with the village on daily basis.

Or rather, some of them do. The doctor or alchemist with silver hair holds a shop in the village selling assorted medicine. In this case, her rabbit servants (some pople call them her slaves) do the hard work while she lunges around the shop and the neighbourhood, gossiping with the locals.

One hot day, during the late summer, only her rabbits are there keeping post when you bring them their food as per standard agreement (Eientei is by far well off enough to outsource lunch). Upon inquiry, you find out that the mistress of the house is sick, and the doctor has stayed behind to take care of her.

You're about to leave, but the bunnies stop you. One in particular - the one going by the name Tewi that's always fooling around in the village - says that she'll give you money if you take care of the deliveries to Eientei today, allowing her and the bunnies to "have some fun" with some guys you apparently know (and as of today, also envy). Money never hurts, so you accept and collect the requested stuff, heading over to eientei.

It's still hot and you sweat heavily, carrying the equivalent amount of goods usually taken care by several rabbits. Upon arriving at the mansion (bamboo forest used to make people lose themselves but they set up a path therein), you knock and announce yourself. The doctor answers, and when you recount the reason, notes she'll make bunny slippers out of Tewi some day. She tells you to carry the stuff in.

While heaving the goods around, you catch a glimpse of the mistress and are frozen on your tracks. Her beauty exceeds the legends and expectations you had gathered from the story of the bamboo-cutter or variations. You stand still for minutes, until a yell from Dr. Yagokoro wakes both you and her.

Upon seeing an ordinary human, carrying foodstuffs and sweating like a pig while holding the stupidest expression possible, the sick mistress bursts out laughing for no apparent reason. While being still mesmerized by her beautiful, laughing (although in a slightly mean manner) face, you miss out the chance to ask how can someone get sick while still being immortal.

As summer turns to fall and fall turns to winter you strike a deal with the medicine-selling rabbit, delivering stuff even when it wouldn't be necessary, only to catch any small glimpse of the mistress. She's not stupid, you see the intelligence glaring from her eyes when he, time after time, observes your undying admiration. She knows you've fallen in love with her and enjoys it, yet still doing nothing obvious to let you know she's seen it.

But you won't give up. You gather money from your job so that you could one day treat her like the princess she is. Then, when the next summer festival is approaching, you make your move. Appearing on the steps of the mansion, dressed formally, bearing with you a yutaka (as a gift) for her to wear in the festival and ask her to accompany her. To your surprise, she laughs again, then accepts.

The moon princess is smart, funny, cultured and of course stunningly beautiful. You're the talk of the town when you appear to the stalls and events, when you dance with her and when you watch the fireworks. The night is long and Kaguya drinks way too much, staggering visibly when you're guiding her back to the mansion. No-one's around save for a skeleton bunny crew. She slumps to her bed and starts to giggle. Your heart melts, TWO MINUTES LATER you take your chance and she gives in, all the fantasies you've built within the year come true (well, save for the some elaborate ones) and you find yourself in a physical relationship with Kaguya.

The end:

In the beginning, all seems to go well. Kaguya is cultured, you occasionally have sex (when she wants) and enjoy meals and time together. You visit Eientei a lot, and appear to get by with the doctor and the bunnies too. However, the atmosphere is always menacing, no matter how well you try to relate with the other residents, they avoid you or any serious discussion with you, keeping a safe distance.

When summer turns to fall, Kaguya starts to lose interest in you. When you ask her to visit the village with you, she brushes it off, returning to her computer, imageboards and all the varieties of stupid games you couldn't care less about, preferring them over your company. The other residents of Eientei seem either slightly apologetic or amused. You hardly have sex anymore, when you try, she brushes you off and returns to whatever she was doing.

Tension builds up, you start fighting, you become bitter and let it show. No matter how you try to change or whatever you try to do for her, Kaguya's still disinterested, turning all the arguments to you overreacting or being mean. All your comments are brushed off, and as time goes by, whenever things aren't going her way, she asks you to leave.

Then one evening, when you arrive at Eientei and go to her room she doesn't even turn, she doesn't even notice it. You say her name, she turns her head, sees you and looks annoyed before turning back to her computer and starts to giggle uncontrollably. You don't know if it was you or something she read in the internet, but she says nothing to you and there's nothing you can think of to say to her.

And it hits you. She never came to the village to see you, you always went to see her. She never wore the yukata you bought for her again. She's been here for long, she's had many men before you and will have other men to fill her every desire for as long as the world revolves. She was pampered, has always had what she wants and didn't care for you in the slightest, only using you for some sex when she wanted it - on her terms. Her life will continue as it was before.

As you leave, you catch the eyes of the doctor. She smiles, but it's not mean. She seems apologetic and nods as you walk out.

You never visit Eientei again, you never even deliver food to the rabbits again.

It's been one and a half years now, and you still haven't had a relationship again.

The worst thing? In a way, you still love Kaguya.

Suwako's hat (by Nameless Wraith Sealed in a Cursed Book, 2008-03-04)

The Story: One day, you sneak into the Moriya shrine, and steal Suwako's hat. Two minutes later, freaky interspecies sex.

The End: During sex, it eats your brains; By which, I mean your scrotum, which is obviously where your brains must be for you to attempt such a retarded stunt in the first place.

Shiki nuclear facepalms when she sees your story in her mirror, and spends the better part of an hour just bludgeoning your soul with her judgement stick before leaving to a conference with the other Enma. It is finally decided that a new type of Hell should be constructed just for miscreants like you.

Nitori (by Raiyt, 2008-03-04)

A young man from the human village, you find yourself on a particularly thoughtful walk one day, concerned with matters of little importance. However, a noise snaps you out of your reverie, and you see a kappa girl panicking as she dashes towards a strange device which appears to have fallen on its side, pointing towards you. With a sudden rush, part of the device flies off, and shoots into your abdomen. While it doesn't do any serious damage, it's certainly enough to knock the wind out of you.

You pick up the device, a strange tubular object with small fins at one end and a pointed tip at the other. As you look it over, you hear a nervous voice. You're surprised to see that the kappa girl has not hidden as most kappa do when they see a human, but rather has even approached you. "Please don't smash it!" she blurts out. You look at her quizzically, unsure of what to make of the situation. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for my rocket to hit you! Please don't smash it!" You hold out the "rocket" to her, asking who she is, and just what is a "rocket". Her shyness vanishes almost instantly. "Well, I'm Nitori, and rockets are awesome things that can fly really fast! They're really fascinating, did you know..." Over the next several hours, you learn more about aerodynamics, rocketry, and basic physics than most people in the human village could ever hope to know.

As night begins to fall, you find yourself rather interested in meeting Nitori again, and mention this. Perhaps finding someone who would listen to her talk about her hobbies helped her shyness, she happily agrees to meet you tomorrow.

You and Nitori hit it off quite well. It takes a little while for you to understand the basic ideas behind her inventions, but you're clever enough to figure out enough not to bore her. She's also very happy to find someone who can help her get supplies from the village, as she was always too shy to go herself. Holding your hands to guide them over gadgetry soon becomes simply wanting to hold your hands, as friendship blossoms into romance. As one of your friends in the human village says, "It sure sounds like you're helping her come out of her shell, if you know what I mean." You never were one to get puns, and mention that he lost you.

Time goes by, and your summer love with Nitori seems to be more than just a romantic fling. All has gone well, although there has been a strange shadow appearing from time to time, as if something were flying over you, and not just some ordinary fairy. Whatever it is does not concern you. Today, you are going to propose to Nitori! The smile on your face as you head out is as bright as the sun the day before that strange eclipse. As you walk along the road, you hear something flying behind you, and turn to face it. "She's mine, you bastard!" is the last thing you hear before a large flying turtle ducks into its shell and crashes into you head-first. Laying on the side of the road, paralyzed, you can only grimace in pain as you watch the turtle fly off to hide. A few agonizing hours later, Nitori finds you. Shocked, she begins to cry, managing to get out something about "build you a new body" and "how could he".

After a few minutes of this, the large flying turtle emerges from behind a number of trees. "Genjii! You did this!" Nitori screeches, torn between grief and rage. "That's right, I told you not to leave me!" he grunts. You can only weakly cry out in protest as he begins to bully Nitori, first verbally, then physically. "See what you made me do to her?" he spits, glaring at your twisted form, shortly before stomping on your face repeatedly. As everything goes black and your consciousness begins to fade for the last time, you hear Nitori's anguished cries of pain intensify, pleading for mercy, pleading to live.

Rikako Asakura (by Lord Gussy, 2008-03-04)

Story: Your a 2-bit Scientist in the (somewhat) scientifically challenged realm known as Gensokyo. However this being a realm where 'Science' is tossed aside like Crystal Pepsi and replaced by the dominant feild of 'Magic', your hobbies are not readily appreciated in the quiet human village you call 'home'. In short; your that one outcast that everyone avoids and/or talks about harshly while your back is turned. But yet you still continue to dabble in the feild that is known as 'Science' rather than take the cowards way and commiting suicide like you should have done ages ago. Possibly it is because your constantly thinking that one day you might actually meet someone who actually likes your fixation for the sciences or accept you for who you truely are (hopefully the latter, nobody likes a complete waste of space >_>).

One unusually warm afternoon in autumn, you come to spy a young purple haired woman strolling along in the village, and judging by her long lab coat and dignified glasses, she too maybe interested in Science. You've never seen her before in your life, (There's a shocker, considering you never really leave your house) yet you instantly feel as if you belong together sharing theories, making discoveries, raising a family that will expand on Science. Wait, why are you thinking of these things? and about a complete stranger no seems you've been smitten on sight, Lil' Slugger!

But being you've never really interacted with those of the opposite sex before (oh the joys of solitude) you cannot think of anything to say to her as she casually passes you by, so you decide the best solution to this dilemma is to stalk her. You follow her throughout her errand run of the village sneaking a few glances at the bespectacled beauty and swiftly turning away before she can suspect you staring at her. As the afternoon turns to early evening your still hot on her tail (foreshadowing?) before she makes an unexpected move in an alley and turns to confront you. With a glare of disgust, She demands to know why you were stalking her this whole afternoon.

Shocked (and amazed) at her ability to notice, you stammer a good 7 seconds before finally coming up with a decent lie about coincidence, cuz your a pussy and can't face women right. She sighs and mutters something about perverts before continuing on her way back home. Thinking you may never meet someone like her again, you call out to her and say that your a scientist (lie, 2-BIT scientist). It seems you've gotten her attention, for this she faces you with a different mood. One that's more accepting rather than demeaning, like before. The 2 of you get the talking and are absorbed in coversation, as you unwittingly following her home. Upon reaching her residence, you realize you also have a house and you'd best be on your way back to it. but before you go you ask her name, the megankko reponds with 'Rikako Asakura', you then ask if you could come over tomorrow y'know just to work on something science-y together. She accepts your propostion and you run back home overjoyed at her answer.

The past months are spent with you repeatedly visiting Rikako, as the both of you embark to make many scientific discover together. During which you learn alot from Rikako, and slowly you blossom into a more capable scientist than you once were. Rikako also begins to slowly warm to your presence, eventually she begins to return the very feelings you had for her that fateful day.

And on a cold night, with nothing better to do, the 2 of you are engaged with a 'different' kind of study as you become inter-twined in passionate lovemaking. Later on, good news comes to you yet again when Rikako discovers you've successfully impregnated her. After hearing this your world explodes in a torrent of joy and bliss (strangely, no one dies from said explosion, further investigation was supended).

The two of you have become insepreable after the news of your coming child. As you readily prepare for your son/daughter's arrival, you spend less time in your home and more time with Rikako, until eventually you finally make the decision to move in with Rikako, and live by your beloved's side 24/7. Both of your minds are dead set on the child you created together; you thinking of a future scientist, and your mate thinking of how the child she's carrying would embody the man she loved so much.

The END:

Your overdose of joy and happiness blinds you from the one thing that can absolutely ruin a life of happiness and emotional tranquility, As a result your demise comes from an unlikely soucre...

During a night in late winter, your working on a that one concoction you could never seem to get right you think of it as a simple thing to do so is to pass the time, being Rikako is busy with something of her own and therefore is to busy for you to sexually feel her up as you normally do.

But still no matter what, you do the mixture you working on doesn't seem to do anything except make poping sounds when you add certain other substances to it's make up and sometimes dispell some funky smoke of somekind. Baffeled and more than a little frustrated by this, you call Rikako in to see if she has any input on what to do with this unknown mixture, unfortunetly she too is short of ideas but suggests that maybe the 2 of you should work on it together.

You agree, and as you add another extra chemical to the concoction, it suddenly erupts in a violent explosion, it's fire spreading to the other substances you had laying around and causing a chain reation devastating. The sheer speed of the events is too fast for you or Rikako to react and the both of you are engulfed by the intense blaze in an instant. As you suffer a death by fire, the last thing you ever hear is Rikako's screams of agony soaring into the ominous night sky, as she's burned alive in the chemical inferno.

Time passes and your deaths go unnoticed for awhile, before eventually in early spring a passing human notices Rikako's home in shambles and asks the villagers of your hometown if they knew about this. Everyone's dumbfounded as to how (or why) Rikako's home was so badly torn up, but decide to investigate the ruins of the Asakura residence to unearth some possibly answers.

It's during this investigation that everyone discovers your corpses within the rubble. severe burns on both your bodies point to a fire of some sort, but being the both of you aren't really 'famous' or anything the cause of your deaths are viewed as unimportant and it is never known as to how you truly died. Many simply rule it as one of those occasional 'PMSing Yuka attack' or 'a Danmaku battle gone wrong'.

The irony of it all is, you and Rikako did make a discovery together, which is that you never should have been trusted with chemicals in the 1st place, but being the both of you are already dead it would seem that this benefits no one.

BAD END...AND it's all your fault :P

Alice Margatroid (by Nameless Fairy, 2008-03-05) (permit needed)

The Dolls

You arrived in the mythical Gensokyo 3 years ago and have been living in the human village since then. You worked as a carpenter and spent most of the time doing repairs to any structures damaged by youkai (and Marisa) in the countryside.

One day you were rebuilding part of the Hakurei Shrine that simply failed due to old age. The shrine's miko Reimu lavished you with tea and freshly baked biscuits, because she enjoyed the work you were doing for her for free. She watched your sweaty, shirtless, muscled body glisten in the hot sun with her mouth open in lust. When you noticed Reimu staring at you, Reimu quickly averted her eyes and blushed deeply. It was during the moments, when she was looking away from you in embarrassment, you admired the snow white, voluptuous side boobage this miko was known for among the human males back in the human village. Reimu rarely visited the human village, but when she did visit, males all over the village would flock to her in an attempt to see her side boobage but come away disappointed, as Reimu would always wear her sarashi when not at the shrine. It was the sight of such godly side boobage that became your payment, and why you were always willing to do repairs to the shrine when Reimu came calling. Well, you did liked Reimu herself too.

As you were driving nails into a new 2x4, you heard an angelic voice call out Reimu's name causing you to turn in the direction of the voice. What you saw was a woman of such great beauty you instantly considered Reimu's side boobage mediocre. The wind was blowing the woman's dress against the front of her body revealing every curvature of her legs and abdomen which must have been carved by FSM himself. It was as if the very light rays of the sun itself emanated from her head. And her sapphire eyes were bluer than the sky on the clearest day.

"Hi, Alice," Reimu cheerfully replied, as she waved her hand in greeting.

After the usual greetings were over, Reimu pulled Alice over to you and asked you if you've met Alice before, and you replied that you've never met nor seen Alice before. Reimu replied it's probably because Alice rarely left her home in the Forest of Magic. Alice cheerfully greeted you by extending her hand, and you kissed her hand. Reimu's cheery eyes narrowed in jealously. You've never kissed Reimu's hand when you greeted her.

After explaining the repairs you were working on to Alice, Reimu and Alice went inside the shrine for the rest of the day.

The sun was setting and you finally completed the repair work to the shrine, when Alice appeared next to you as you were putting your tools away.

"Could you come by my house and fix my front door?" Alice asked in a sweet but shy voice. "My friend keeps knocking the door out of its sockets."

Alice blushed deeply, as you quickly and happily blurted out "Sure!"

You no longer cared about the musty smelling miko anymore. You just wanted to be with this woman, this goddess.

Alice displayed a dazzling smile as she handed you a piece of paper containing directions to her house and quickly left leaving behind an intoxicating scent of heaven itself.

You arrived at Alice's house the next day, nevermind you had uncompleted work at a teacher's house that had been delayed by the repair job at the shrine. Upon entering Alice's house, you were shocked to see so many dolls, you first thought they were fairies, flying and buzzing around the inside of the house. Alice explained that every doll had a specific job to do, though none had an ability to do carpentry. The dolls movement were also limited to the house only, so none of the dolls would get lost.

You repaired the front door by upgrading the door frame with a stronger frame and finally a heavier door in hopes that Alice's friend, Marisa, would have a harder time damaging the door.

As you finished putting away your tools, Alice surprised you when she kissed you fiercely on the lips, and you eagerly returned the kiss. Love-making occurred immediately, and in the morning you woke up in Alice's bed naked with Alice, also naked, sleeping soundly next to you. Alice's head was resting on your chest.

A few months later as a crying, though very happy Marisa, announced you and Alice as husband and wife, Reimu, with tears streaming down her face, screamed that your were an idiot and stormed out of the chapel in anger. You didn't care what the damn miko said, because you married the greatest woman in all of Gensokyo if not the entire world.

Before marrying Alice, she explained that she was incapable of having children due to her womb having been damaged by disease when she was a little kid. It didn't matter to you if Alice couldn't bare your children, since all you cared about was being with Alice herself. And Alice was all you wanted.

The decades passed and now you were nearing 70 years old. Alice, being a youkai had remained as youthful looking as the day you met her, and her love for you never wavered, even when you lost both legs to a mysterious accident with a runaway saw blade at the Hakurei Shrine, making you dependent on Alice for mobility.

Despite being healthy, you became bedridden from a mysterious deadly illness shortly after Reimu, now an old, bitter, unmarried hag who still resented you for marrying Alice, visited Alice and you unannounced. Alice retrieved Eirin, the best doctor in Gensokyo, to check you, but even Eirin was puzzled by your sickness and was unable to provide any help.

One sunny day in your sleepy condition, caused by the disease, you were incapable of thinking fast much less at all. You repeatedly dreamed of your favorite breakfast: hot chocolate and waffles cooked by Alice wearing only an apron and nothing else, which always led to an hour of love-making on the dining room table.

You never noticed Alice staring at you from the doorway with a peculiar look on her face.

What felt to you as a few hours or perhaps several days had passed, you really had no idea in your condition, you suddenly felt perfectly fine. In fact, you felt as if you never had been sick. You opened your eyes and saw the familiar surroundings of Alice's workroom, where she built her dolls.

Why were you inside Alice's workroom? Why did the small room, which only had room for one person due to all the boxes and shelves being full of various doll parts, appear so huge? When did the desk, which you were sitting on, become so large? The answer came when you looked down upon you own body and saw your legs... Legs?! And then the true horror hit you. Those legs had doll joints. Your hands and arms had doll joints. You couldn't believe what you were seeing.

Then a cheery Alice entered the workroom and noticed that you were moving, "Time to finish my new doll."

Alice happily picked you up, and asked herself, "Hmm, what kind of dress should you wear? It must be practical so it doesn't get caught in the saw blades."

You attempted to scream only to realize that Alice's dolls are incapable of talking much less show any emotion.

Rumia (by Nameless Fairy, 2008-03-06)

You are a youkai hunter out on the prowl, the full moon is out. After the disappearance of many children in the area, you were hired. While you were not up to the skills of Reimu Harurei, or Marisa Kirisame, you have proven to be quite talented, and they like they help, since they don't have to waste their time on low level threats. The night is young, but something just doesn't feel right. Normally, you can feel the tension, but tonight things seem calm as a tomb. You decide to head for some rest next to a tree, which would give you a chance to examine your equipment.

As you approach, you see a young girl, unconscious. You rush over to check her pulse, something doesn't feel right, but her eyes pop open. She stares up at you, and you ask if she's okay. She says nothing at first, but than sits up, smiles, and says she is fine.

Two minutes later, you have freaky interspecies sex.

Just kidding.

Anyway: You start to ask her more questions, what she's doing out here, how she was knocked out, and if she was from the nearby village. She says she is from the village, and she accidentally bumped ran into a tree while running from something. You don't notice her glancing at your weapons as she adds that she was got lost playing before sundown. You tell her how dangerous it is, and offer to guide her home. As you two head out, you feel a bit uneasy, you feel your being watched, and if you were attacked right now, you don't know if you could protect both of you.

Despite that feeling, you both make it to the village safe and sound. You offer to take her to her house, but she says she will be fine, and doesn't want to bother her parents. She's gonna get it tomorrow for getting lost, but they may just be glad to see her back. You say goodbye and start to leave, though you find it odd how much force it seems to take her to get in the door, not noticing she doesn't even have a key.

She runs out of the house real quick with a pocket watch, and hands it too you and asks if you can meet her in the same place in the woods that you found her at. You find it odd that she would ask for that area, but she assures you she will be with others this time, and that on the way back, she payed attention to your path. You agree, as you finally notice that she doesn't look as young as you initially thought.

One month later:

You return to the forest, not sure what to expect. The reports of the village's demise were shocking, and you were help partly to blame, as came back empty handed that night. Many said that had you done your job, the village may not have died. You didn't let it get to you, even though you agreed. Still, the fact that the miko and black white decided to investigate did let many others know that this was beyond your realm.

You knew if you came across what attacked the village, you'd be no match, but you did feel you owed it to the girl. She really was cute, you started thinking, such a shame for her to have been cut down in life so young. As you came to the tree, you saw three figures standing there, and you started to run when you noticed her there. She ran and embraced you, and you returned it. You didn't know why, you just did. You asked her how she managed to escape, and she motioned to her two friends. One had green hair, a cape, and an odd looking hat on her head, she kept adjusting it like she was hiding something. The other looked somewhat familiar, with a brown hat with wings on it. You could have sworn you saw wings behind her earlier, now that you thought of it, but they were not there now.

They explained that when the village was attacked, they and a few others had managed to escape, but had gotten separated. You asked what did it, but they could not give a clear description, and the green haired girl looked increasingly nervous. You turned back to the one in your arms, and asked why she bothered coming back to this place just to see you, and she said she did not want to break her promise. You brought up how odd it was, considering she doesn't even know your name. Things calm down a bit, and introductions are made. Turns out the blond is "Rumi" (at this, something clicks in your mind, but you cannot figure out why), and the other two are "Mysti" and "Wendy" The other two groan when Wendy introduces yourself, but you think nothing of it. The rest of the night is spent talking with them, you apologize for not being there when they needed you, but they seemed oddly insistent that you not worry about it, that you keeping your word to Rumi was what was important now. Upon asking what they would do now, they said that they would be okay, there were assorted people in the woods who could defend themselves that they have been staying with. Rumi gave you directions to where she was staying, asking you to come see her in exactly one week. Something nagged at your mind, saying this could not continue, but you agreed, you felt an irrational attraction to her.

You did visit her, and while the house was nice, it seemed as if it had been abandoned for sometime. Again, you felt the need to get away, but nothing seemed to be that dangerous, and you enjoyed a meal together, before you were on you way. The rest of the time until the next full moon you started to see her on a regular basis, those nagging feeling slowly dying off. While childish, she was not child, and you at times got the feeling she was even older than you. One more night to the next full moon, you were on your way home once again. Your lust was building, you wanted her, and tomorrow would be perfect. As you entered the woods, Wendy appeared in front of you.

"I can't let this continue, for all our sakes, never come back again."

You demanded to know what right she had to ask this of you, and she removed her hat, revealing antenna, as many insects and other assorted creepy crawlies came out to meet her.

"Rumia is the same as me, you are in danger, as are we, if you keep this up. I don't know why I let her talk me into this."

You best weapons were left at hold, all you had were close range blades. If you had bothered to learn proper danmaku, you could have escaped this, but then again, you wanted this bitch dead. You grabbed a knife and threw it at her, but everything went dark.

Rumia appeared beside you, it was so obvious, now, yet you ignored all the signs. You could barely hear what they were saying, but you knew a fight had broken out. You decided to just run, and shortly down the path you crashed into the miko, as the darkness faded. You got off of her, and helped her back up, seeing that there were three others with her as well. One was the black white, another was a beautiful woman with short blond hair and a long blue dress, and the third, tied up in mystical bonds, was Mysti. Before you had a chance to get your bearings, the miko and witch flew into the darkness. The scuffle did not last long, and you saw the insect youkai land at you feet, bruised and bloody. She looked up at you, and spoke.

"Run, Rumia is...."

With that, Rumia flew toward you, grabbing you. The impact knocked the wind out of you, and everything went dark.

You finally awoke the next night, staring up at the full moon. The you saw Rumia look down at you, a hungry look in her eyes.

"I must thank you, you gave me and the others such a great meal when you and I first met. Shame Wriggle had to run things. She felt guilty, but she has no right, considering how much she enjoyed those village children. now then, let's get started."

That's when you noticed you were naked, and she started to strip.

What's going on?"

"Consider yourself honored, I have chosen you to impregnate me. You yourself are nothing too special, but I'm sure our child will be. Now, be a man, and get to work."

Almost against your will, you helped her remove the rest of her clothing, including that damn hair ribbon. No beast like her should be wearing something so innocent. He body seemed more womanly than you would have expected, and she had her way with you.

"I hate you."

"Is that so?"


Mystia and Wriggle, who had broken the rules of attacking a human village, were both publicly executed. However, they would not let Mystia's body go to waste, and make a delicious fried meal served to Reimu, Marisa, and Yuyuko (who took the most). Wriggle's body was returned to the earth, to feed the insects that she once controlled.

Rumia kept you alive, though she did eat one of your arms and legs, until her child was born. You don't know how long it took, but it couldn't have been nine months. The child grew quickly, feeding on the rest of you. Rumia eventually was killed, after destroying many villages herself, when she made the mistake of challenging EX Keine.

The child, with no parents left, grew up to become an emo youkai, who plunged Gensokyo into darkness to match their mood.


Rumia (by Raiyt, 2008-03-06)

You are a hard working young man with a bright mind, strong body, and clever wit. However, you were not quite so blessed in looks. No matter how you put it, you are simply ugly. Not child-scaring terrifyingly ugly, but enough that women keep their distance.

One day, you and a few buddies have been drinking, and you lament your situation. One friend speaks up, saying he did see a youkai girl who might be your type. "A youkai? You think I'm suicidal?" "Hey, I met her and I'm still alive!" Sound logic there. You ask your friends what she's like. One pipes in, "She's not very bright," to which another replies, "Is that so?"

Drunken bastards. No matter, you steel your resolve and decide you'll try your hand at courting a youkai girl. She has to be cuter than your hand.

While walking along outside of town near where your friends said they saw this girl, you spot what appears to be a moving darkness. Too curious for your own good, you decide to investigate.

"Oh, hi there! Hey, you're a human, aren't you?" Seems this darkness contains a young youkai girl. It's a bit hard to make out much detail though. "Are you tasty?" she asks. "Uhh, no. I'm not tasty." "Is that so?" This line of conversation is not going so well. It does seem to be the right girl though. "Um, so I heard there was a cute girl around here I should meet." "Where? I want to meet her too!" Not very bright indeed.

Against all odds, you manage to properly introduce yourself to this girl, Rumia. She's a bit childish, and dim in more than one sense of the word. Still, she's a nice enough girl, and you two manage to get along fairly well. She has an idea of what boyfriends are, but she's not too good with the idea yet. "So it means I can taste you, but I can't eat you?"

Well, it's a start.

Weeks pass, and your relationship with Rumia grows. You feel like a bit of a pervert sometimes, but at the same time, it feels cosmically natural for you to be a pervert. Strange. Regardless, one fine day, you are with Rumia in the Forest of Magic, and things are starting to get a bit heavy when you hear voices outside. "You'll like this one Marisa. I put on my robe and wizard hat... Hey, wait, what's that sound? Darkness? DARKNESS?" You quickly snap to attention, and you're just about to grab Rumia and run for it when you hear those fateful words. "MAGIC MISSILE!"

The sounds of the forest were unique that day. A youkai flying away at a high speed. A youkai flying into a tree at a high speed. The ugly smoldering remains of a half-naked human. And if you listened closely, you could hear the laughter of an amused witch, and the grunt of a rhinoceros.

Kanako Yasaka (by Raiyt, 2008-03-07)

You are a Kurdish warrior, a proud servant of the great leader Salah al-Din, leader of the Ayyubids, and a member of his personal guard. One night, as you were on the road to a most fateful battle at the Horns of Hattin, you see a strange vision in the distance. Against all good advice, you set out alone to investigate. If it is an ambush set up by the treacherous dog Raynald of Chatillon, you place yourself in great danger, and yet a single soldier would be most likely to expose this trap without being caught. However, as you arrive, you see it was nothing but a mirage. There was nothing in this desert but a... lake... on a mountain. Something is definitely wrong. Is this some sort of magic?

As you walk along the lake, you meet a graceful woman of indeterminate age, dressed in red and black. Wary as you are, she does not appear to be a soldier, and you are hardly able to disguise yourself now. You introduce yourself, and find that this lady is named Kanako, and she proclaims to be the god of the mountain. Taking offense at this blasphemy, you draw your dagger. However, you recoil in horror as the fine Damascus steel visibly rusts away in your hands. Clearly, this is a crisis of faith in the highest.

Finding that you are in another world, your entire perception of reality is shattered. Kanako is kind enough to take you in while you recover from this, as troublesome as you are. She can tell how deeply faithful you are, and even forgives you for disbelieving her to her face, regardless of the feats she performs. Weeks go by, turning into months. If not for her blasphemy, you know you would have fallen for this kind and beautiful woman. You find yourself uncomfortably uncertain in your own faith, believing that this entire world is a test. Kanako herself dotes over you like a big sister, although she becomes even friendlier after a night of drinking. The idea of her being a god is even more puzzling, what sort of god would drink alcohol? Even with all of these questions, you cannot deny the fact that she is no ordinary woman.

One stormy and dismal day, the young priestess Sanae, who believes deeply in Kanako's divinity, arrives with urgent news. "The miko from the Hakurei Shrine is attacking! She says she has permitted these lands to be in our hands far too long, and it is time to take them back!" Kanako is clearly worried, as if even her power would not be enough to stave off the army of this Hakurei shrine. "So it is war that she wants... Very well Sanae, let us prepare." Although she objects, you refuse to leave her side. While she is an infidel, she has given you shelter and mercy as great as that of your master.

At the Moriya Shrine, you meet with Kanako and Sanae again, and are introduced to Suwako, who Kanako calls a fellow god. While your disbelief is clear, you manage to introduce yourself politely. Just then, a shrine maiden dressed in red and white appears at the gate of the Moriya Shrine, flanked by a witch dressed in black and white.

"This Shrine is now claimed for the gods of the Hakurei Shrine!" shouts the invading priestess. You clench your fist in anger. Kanako has been good to you, and what right has this invader to take her land like so? "You will not take this shrine so long as we inhabit it, Reimu!"

Reimu. Reimu... That name sounds so familiar. "Raynald!" you mutter under your breath. It is all so clear now! You must have been struck delusional in the desert, and have survived only under the care of an angel sent to you. "Prepare to die, treacherous dog Raynald!" you shout as you charge towards the invaders. Reimu seems slightly confused, but begins to fire a barrage of danmaku at you. "FOR KANAKO!" you scream, your battle cry piercing through the pouring rain. You charge through the flying bullets as if they were a hail of arrows, and send Reimu flying back with a mighty punch delivered to the jaw. The witch turns towards you with a look of surprise, as if you have managed to fell an army with only your fist. The surprise quickly turns to anger, and as you begin to charge towards her, she screams a battle cry of her own. "Love Sign: Master Spark!"

In the split second before it reaches you, you can see a look of anguish upon Kanako's face, just before your body is destroyed entirely in the white-hot beam.

Wriggle Nightbug (by Ice ⑨, 2008-03-07)

As a healthy young man in your village, you are tasked with watching the children when they play, to ensure none are snatched away by roving youkai. However, that doesn't mean you can't play with them, and over time you've become less their keeper and more their babysitter.

You're out catching fireflies one night with your charges something hits you hard from behind, sending you sprawling. As you roll over something heavy lands on your chest, hard, knocking the wind out of you. A tomboyish girl, slight of frame and neatly dressed, has pinned you to the ground with her knees. More pressingly, however, you note the long wings twitching irritatedly at her back. "You think that's FUN, do you? I wish they made jars your size, you stupid human, then we'd see how much you like it!"

A long silence hangs for a moment as she glares at you, you stare, stunned, at her, and the children--the ones who haven't run--look at you both, before bursting into tears. This seems to surprise the youkai girl. Something in her demeanor changes, and her expression softens. "Oh, what's the point?" she huffs, pulling herself off of you. "If I make an example of you someone's bound to make an example of me." It's your turn to be caught off-guard. A few thoughts rush through your pounding head, but finally you decide to remain cautious, and avoid open hostility. This is a rare youkai, clearly not out for blood. "...I'm sorry." you say warily as you pull yourself up. "Of course you are. EVERYONE'S sorry after they're caught." "No, really. I mean it. You had me dead to rights."

She remains silent a moment. You check on, and gather, the kids, before adding, "Thanks." Another long, awkward silence--she turns to leave. As she does, one of the children finally blurts "Thank you." After a moment, the rest follow suit. She has no idea what to make of this, and her expression shows it. Finally, she heaves a sigh. "Just leave off the insects, okay?" Now that you can look again, you see a pair of antennae poking through her hair line. Ahhh. "We will. I'm ______." "...Wriggle." "Nice to meet you, Wriggle." After that scare, the kids are keen on getting home. It isn't far, you see them back and return a few minutes later. She's still there, idly turning over one of the (now empty) jars in her hands. "...Mm. You're a lot friendlier than most humans." "I'm just trying to stay on your good side, that's all," you say with a small smile, "I've known falling trees that don't hit that hard." She laughs, a little. "Thanks, I think."

So begins an ironic sort of friendship, between you and the youkai. Nights go by, and you return to the field often, lit only by stars, moon, and fireflies. In spite of yourself you begin to think about Wriggle more and more. You spend more and more nights out at that field--and, you can't help but notice, so does she.

Everything changes a few weeks later. You're staring up at the sky with a youkai on your chest again. Only this time, you're slowly blacking out as its claws squeeze your throat. Of course this would happen, you think. You made a pattern, came here night after night alone. And now you're going to die. "FIREFLY PHENOMENON!"

A positive hurricane of danmaku bullets carves through the air over you. The murderous youkai is flung off of you as air floods back into your lungs. For a painful. eternal moment, everything is blurry, and you can't move. The sounds of battle whirl around your prone form for agonizing seconds. The first thing you can make out as your eyes slide back into focus is Wriggle holding off the youkai--and losing.

Everything makes sense in one supernaturally clear moment. She isn't--weak isn't the word, but she isn't strong by a longshot. Her confidence must match. Why she was so surprised when you met her.

Without realizing it, you find yourself on your feet, drawing your sword, as the youkai slams Wriggle against a tree, bloodied and stunned. It draws in to tear her throat from her neck as you surge forward and carve a bloody slash through its back. It reels, backhands you, and turns to address its meal once more.

Wriggle is having none of this, of course, as she lets fly with another barrage as the youkai looms over you. It staggers, and you angle your blade forward from the ground as Wriggle body-checks it from behind--throwing it onto your blade. Its body burns away mid-fall, and Wriggle falls past your sword and onto you, once more.

Both of you, exhausted, sweating, and gasping for breath, hang there for another unending moment, looking into her eyes as she gazes into yours. At once a rush of emotion overwhelms you. The stars wheel overhead, the moon shines bright, the dew on your back is cool, and Wriggle Nightbug has you pinned to the ground. Just like last time. Nothing has to be said as she slowly lowers herself and you kiss for the first time...

You might be the odd couple, but you're certainly a happy one. Flush with your success against the youkai (among other things), you stumble back into town as the sun begins to creep over the hills. The next months are blissful. You and Wriggle talk, she confides her doubts in you, you confess your own fears to her. Slowly, she opens up. She becomes more confident. Finally, one daring day, you walk arm-and-arm back to the village in mid-day. Time goes by, and all is well. She's found acceptance, happiness, and peace of mind. You've never been happier. After a heated debate with the town elders, you've finally been given permission to marry her, and now you're just waiting for the right moment.

It never comes.

Your last day on Gensokyo comes for you in the prime of your life. While watching the children, another youkai strikes--stronger then the last. As you desperately hold the line, you yell for the children to get back to town. You raise your sword to parry another brutally powerful blow and realize a split-second too late you zigged when you should have zagged. A sharp pain through your abdomen is all that announces the fatal blow. Your legs buckle beneath you as your blade clatters to the ground. Delirious, slipping in and out of consciousness, you hear Wriggle call your name...

Wriggle fought. She fought with everything she had. But even had she felled the youkai in a single blow, the wound you had bore was mortal. Nothing could save you. As it stands, she was defeated by your murderer. Weakened, broken, and sobbing, the youkai regarded her. Finally she regards it with the same glare she first saw you through. "...Finish it. I have nothing now." "...No," it rumbled, letting her sag to the grass, "I have already won." Powerless to stop it, Wriggle could only watch as it collected your body and strode away to enjoy its meal in peace.

The town didn't grow cold outright--certainly, those who knew you both tried to console her. But those who didn't slowly began to talk, whether Wriggle had done all she could have to save you...and slowly, this talk turned to whether she had a hand in it. The paranoid humans grew more callous, one by one, until Wriggle could no longer bear to walk the streets of a place she had only begun to know as home. Wriggle's newfound confidence shattered with her world. She grew bitter, hostile at the cruel humans who blamed her for the death of her loved one.

And one year to the day later, she looked forlornly at the false moon hanging overhead, wondering how long this miserable night could last. Two shadows flew overhead, starting her out of her reverie. Wiping away the last of the tears and swallowing hard, Wriggle took to the sky after two women investigating...

Ran Yakumo (by Raiyt, 2008-03-08)

You are a young doctor in Gensokyo. Science being as limited as it is, your abilities are modest and you are quite incapable of matching the elixirs that the Eientei rabbits sell in town. On the other hand, you can honestly tell your patients that you have never changed anyone's gender unwittingly. The rabbits will say the same thing, but they're lying and everyone knows it. You are capable enough and quite personable, even some youkai are willing to ask you for your services.

One day, you find yourself gathering herbs at the edge of the Forest of Magic. It is not particularly safe work, but your passion for the medical arts is more important. However, you have strayed too far from the path, and a bored youkai decides to make a meal out of this stringy human in the forest. You try to run, but you are swiftly caught and find that even a little girl youkai can overpower you. A hungry look in her eye suggests that you will soon draw your last breath. However, a miracle occurs, and the youkai girl is lifted off your body by the strong arm of a tall fox-tailed woman, who throws the hapless predator over her shoulder and into a nearby tree. Fate has not given you a free pass however, as the woman picks you up in one arm and takes to the skies.

"You are the doctor in the human village, right?" she asks bluntly. "Yes... I am." you reply hesitantly, realizing that you probably aren't going to be eaten, but still not feeling very safe yet. "Then you can cure Chen." she states coldly, as if reading an engraving in stone. Apparently, you will cure Chen of whatever it is that Chen suffers, and whoever Chen may be.

Not long after, the woman lands and you see that Chen is a nekomata. Chen is also coughing a lot, but seems fairly well otherwise. "She has been coughing all night, and the mistress could only get twelve hours of sleep. She's terribly cranky and hard to deal with when she's so sleep deprived." states the fox-tailed woman. You bite your tongue on the medical inadvisability of such sleep patterns, the gravity in her voice suggests that futile would be far too mild a word. However, this situation seems a little odd. As you begin to think, Chen stops coughing and resumes her play, spinning around and laughing. Suddenly, you get an idea. "Chen, can you spin around so much, you can't stand anymore?" "Sure, watch me!" She begins to spin and spin and spin, until she falls over and puts a hand to her head. "I don't feel so good..." The fox-tailed woman gives you a sharp eye, but you nod as sagely as you can, hoping to buy a few minutes. Chen, meanwhile, twitches a little bit, then proceeds to vomit up a rather unpleasant ball of fur. "Hairball. Cats get them all the time. So, Ms..." "Yakumo. You can call me Ran." Ran looks a little bit embarrassed that she went so far as to kidnap you in order to cure a hairball. "Well, Ran, thanks for saving me back there, I hope that helped even things up." "Saving you... Oh, yes. Right. Well, you know." You suppress a grin. This stern and intimidating woman has a soft side after all. Ran continues, "It is getting late, and it probably wouldn't be safe to take you back yet. Would you accept my gratitude further and stay for the night?"

You and Ran converse deep into the night. She is quite taken by your tales of compassion for the sick, although she can't help but point out how reckless you are regarding your own health, exposing yourself to all manner of sickness and straining yourself at times to heal everyone that you can. Her sense of responsibility resonates well with you, and her maternal nature is comforting, seeing someone else who is so devoted to taking care of others. The next morning, Ran takes you back to the village, and you set to work again with the never-ending duties of a doctor.

Over the next week, Ran stops by multiple times with weak excuses for illness. By the third time, you manage to get the hint and ask if she would join you for tea that evening. Over tea, you discuss little things, Ran mentioning how it's difficult to socialize with a mistress like Yukari, and how she rarely meets people as nice and responsible as you. It's painfully obvious that she likes you, especially after seeing how good you were with Chen. You two hit it off quite well, and you certainly can appreciate someone thoughtful and organized enough to watch after your health when you're too busy looking out for others.

A month later, you and Ran are known to be an item. A few women in the village are jealous, but they play it off as sour grapes, a doctor is married to his work anyway. Things are going well, Ran is polite and patient enough to be well liked in the village, and she's brilliant enough to solve a few of the ailments that stump you.

One afternoon, Ran has been by for her daily visit, but leaves to get her own work for the day done. You decide to take a stroll on such a fine afternoon, and find yourself by the Forest of Magic again. A bit dirty and worn, you find your old basket, still filled with a few dry, shriveled herbs. You pick it up, deciding to salvage what you can, when you spy a green-haired youkai with a parasol in the distance.

You dash behind a tree, having heard tales of this youkai before. Every breath you take is shallow, your heart racing with fear. As she approaches, she sees you, and waves happily, turning off in the other direction. You let out a sight of relief, your brow and pants equally moist. You stoop down to pick up your herb basket, and as you turn around, you find yourself eye to eye with a young girl who kisses you on the nose and smiles mischievously. You smile back, wondering just who this girl could be in such a dangerous place. You spot a strange bump on her forehead, and your eyes widen in horror as you remember. The hungry glint returns, and this nameless youkai dives at your legs violently, breaking them at the knees. You shout for help, trying to crawl away, but it is entirely futile. The next few hours are filled with excruciating torment as the girl devours your flesh, starting with the feet. She watches your attempts at escape with great amusement, allowing you to crawl perhaps fifty feet before painfully dragging you back to where you were. After she manages to finish up to your broken knees, the girl decides to take a nap leaning against a tree. You put your medical knowledge to good use, sealing the wounds as best you can in the hopes of surviving long enough to get some help. You begin to drag yourself back towards civilization. Two hours later, you have made surprising headway. You are within sight of a house, and at this rate, you can reach it by nightfall.

Behind you, you hear a terrifying giggle. The youkai girl has woken up and followed you by your bloody drag-marks. "You preserved yourself for me? How nice! And you even let me take a walk to work up an appetite again!" While she's gloating, you quickly shove a handful of herbs into your mouth and swallow them. Hopefully, the poison will kill you faster than she has decided to. If you're lucky, maybe it will give you the bittersweet victory of revenge.

Just as the girl begins to pick at your wounds with the joy only a twisted sociopath or an innocent child could, you hear a familiar voice. Ran lands on the ground nearby, stricken with grief. She picks up the youkai with one hand, grasping her torso firmly. With her other hand, she grabs hold of the girl's head, and begins to pull. With a mighty effort, Ran tears the youkai's head completely from her body in a display of brutality you didn't think her capable of. "Are... are you okay?" You smile and nod. "You're here now, I'm sa..." you stop suddenly, as the dim glow in your stomach suddenly turns into a raging fire shooting through your body. Your pupils dilate as you remember your last act of spite. You turn to tell Ran how to counteract this poison, but it is too late. You begin to vomit, your arms shaking as they hold your face up off the ground. Through tear-streaked eyes, you can only watch Ran's grief as she halfheartedly rummages through your herbs, knowing it is hopeless.

Hieda no Akyu (by Writer-kun, 2008-03-08)

Amongst the denizens of Gensokyo, you are a unique one: you’re a Hanyou. It’s not clear how you were conceived, but your human mother once said that your father was a lesser youkai who died while protecting her in a journey. She never gives you his name, but his power apparently was minor manipulations of water. Hanyou are relatively few and far apart, and the only other one you known is a shopkeeper named Rinnosuke Morichika. You two are acquainted, but not so close to the point of being best friends.

Anyway, you live in the fringes of The Human Village, making a living out of anything the humans deem too dangerous for them to do, but not so dangerous that they need to enlist allied youkai help. That usually means collecting rare herbs far into middle of the forest, parleying with hostile faeries or youkai forces, delivering offerings to the mountaintop shrine, or doing various errands through the woods. Your powers, while on the meager side of the scale, do give you an edge of survival unattainable to ordinary humans.

One day, a servant girl asks you to do a little errand on the behalf of her master. She wants you to purchase some medicine in Eientei, a place you’ve been before a couple of times. The rabbit youkai who usually comes to the village to sell them are absent for the week, and her master needed the medicine. You agree, seeing that the price is right and half of it was paid in advance.

While in the journey to Eientei, you wonder who the master of the maid could be. You’re sure that you’ve known every major people (and youkai, too), but not sure who…

Anyway, you made it to Eientei without any major incidents, and proceed to relay the maid’s request to the resident physician, a woman named Eirin. She apologizes for their inactivity this week, citing that the usual rabbit courier Reisen is stricken with a bad flu and she really can’t trust the other one to do the task. You volunteered to be a stand-in (provided the pay is right, of course), but the doctor refuses politely. In a friendly chit-chat you learnt who your current employer was: the House Hieda, a prominent and noble house in The Human Village. She mentions that this kind of medicine is pretty rare and usually reserved for relatively severe illnesses.

Anyway, you are back to the village and proceeded to Hieda House’s mansion, and was greeted by the mansion’s mistress, Hieda no Akyu. You were quickly mesmerized by her cute looks and refined manner. She thanks you for delivering the medicine, and paid the remainder half of the deal.

Over the course of a few months, you get more and more acquainted with the cute lady. You do errands for her, gathered ingredients for ink-making for her, and even helped building a small pavilion to house her ever-growing literature collection. You, while remaining neutral for most of the time, gradually shifted your allegiance to the house. They are profitable employers, and you’re also smitten with the lady.

Your deeds didn’t go unnoticed, though; Akyu, while also remaining neutral most of the time to avoid bias in her Chronicles, also nurtured a hidden feeling towards you, her most loyal subject. Your employer-worker relationship gradually evolved into love. You finally confessed your feelings to her, and to your surprise, she replies to your feelings with a gentle kiss upon your lips.






Fearing that the public will be uproarious because of this wedding, you two decided against throwing a public party, and instead were wedded by Sanae, rather secretly, inside the mansion. Not many guests were present, but Eirin, Yukari, and Yuyuko all sent their envoys to the wedding. The following night was a night to remember for the two of you.

It wasn’t long before you found out that your wife was stricken by a rare disease, and while her life could be prolonged almost indefinitely with Eientei-brand medicines, it will gradually be more and more painful for her. You confronted Akyu on using the medicines, but Akyu said that she will persevere until all her “children” are born. It is here, too that you found out that she is pregnant. You’re ecstatic.

Reimu, bitter with the fact that the wealthiest people of the village had turned their worship to her rival shrine, concocted a secret plan to strike both of you down. You, meanwhile, intended to embark on a worship journey to the Tengu Mountain, but Akyu, in her eighth month of pregnancy, declined to join the pilgrimage. You set off alone in the two-week-long journey.

While you’re away, Reimu denounce you and your wife as heretics, and that your fortunes will be “confiscated for the good of shrine and the people”. An incited mob stormed the mansion, and burned Akyu at the stake. You, of course, are oblivious while you made your journey to the Moriya Shrine.

The news hit you hard when Sanae broke it. She said that she will try to persuade Kanako and Suwako to parley and bargain with Shiki to enable the resurrection of Akyu. Several weeks passed in silence while you board yourself in the Moriya shrine. While waiting, you got the latest issue of Bunbunmaru depicting the violence of the villagers, and who the alleged perpetrator was. You are enraged. They must pay.

Gathering your own force, you managed to convince Mystia, Rumia, Wriggle, and Cirno to back your cause (partially because you told them that almost all of the humans are fair game). Aya and Momiji were eager to join after witnessing the villagers’ cruelty, but since Momiji must stay in the vicinity of Tengu Mountain to guard it, she sent Nitori on her stead.

In the middle of the journey, you were ambushed by Marisa and Alice, both longtime supporters of Reimu. Aya and Nitori stayed to hold the two of them off, while you and the remaining youkai exact the revenge. Your force laid waste of the village (luckily Keine was away having burning threesome secksings with Kaguya and Mokou), sparing only the ones who you’ve known in the past to truly pledge loyalty to the Moriya Shrine. Drunk with victory, you proceed to the Hakurei Shrine, intent in exacting revenge on Reimu.

On the shrine, you are surprised that you were faced off with the denizens of Scarlet House, another, lesser-known noble house. Rumia turned EX, but failed to even out the score as she was confronted by both Flandre and Remilia. Cirno and Mystia were summarily executed by Sakuya, but you and Wriggle managed to (luckily) overcome Patchy and Meiling. You finally faced Reimu, but since you were exhausted, Reimu (and probably Sakuya, too) made short work of you.

Then you woke up in a canoe. You learn from Komachi that you’re dead, and that this is the journey to the other side. Komachi were touched by your story, and promised that she will negotiate your fate with Shiki. Shiki, meanwhile, was not so impressed (partly because you exacted your revenge on the innocents) and still decided to send you to hell before reincarnation. Nevertheless, she agreed to tell you that Akyu and her baby were successfully resurrected, and your baby was born at the time you reached Yama’s Throne. Without further ado, Shiki sent you to Hell while you await reincarnation.

Of all things, you reincarnated by the time Akyu died and achieved Moksha (look up wikipedia for that :P), as your children’s dog. Unknown to you, Akyu managed to finish her magnum opus, The Complete Chronicle of Gensokyo, in which you are given a special mention.





The village gossipers now found a new target: The young lady of the Hieda House and her Hanyou secret lover. Hush-hush at first, the gossip grows stronger as time passes. You two don’t care much, however. With financial wealth amassed from your occupation, you proposed to her, and she gladly accepts. You then threw a good-sized wedding party on the village, attracting some friendly youkai and even the reclusive shrine-maiden.

The perpetually-drunk oni named Suika decides to throw a danmaku firework show to honor you two, and Marisa joined. Their friendly jibe escalated to full-fledged fight, and to your horror Akyu was struck dead by a stray bullet. You didn’t get laid and died virgin despite inheriting the Hieda House’s fortune.


Youmu Konpaku (by Writer-kun, 2008-03-09)

Note: This is an extension to an earlier bad end, the original shorter version is not preserved herein.

Bad End Theatre feat.

Youmu Konpaku

You are a Late-Bakufu era Japanese soldier with a prowess of using katana. Your employer said that your katana was faster than anything they have ever witnessed before. You enjoy a cushy living usually reserved for generals (you are one), despite being barely twenty-two yourself. You are pleasant to be with, relatively just and compassionate, and sociable, yet still single much to everyone's bewilderment.

One day while hunting far into the woods, you are challenged by an aged swordsman who seems to be highly skilled in his trade. He was easily a centennial, so you took the duel lightly. To your surprise, he was faster than even you! He beats you handily, but not before you do some damage too. He was impressed by your skills, and agrees to train you. You went back to your employer to take your leave, and vanished from public eyes ever since.

A few years passed, and under the old man's tutelage, you grew stronger than ever. Your 'playful' speed now was easily thrice your original maximum, and you can even attain much higher speeds if you put effort to it. But the old man was not so lucky; He called you one night, acknowledges your skill, bids you to seek his daughter in a place far away, and marry her. He dies just after administering his final test on you: an epic, all-night-long duel to the death that starts in Sapporo and ends atop Mount Fuji.

A few months after you bury your sensei, you were visited upon by a strange, violet-clad lady. She asks if you are a good warrior, and you replied yes. She then tests you by flinging an almost-impossible-to-dodge burst of energy, which you barely dodged. After the test, she took you to a foreign place, a white spire surrounded by sakura trees.

You are immediately greeted upon by a petite, gray-haired (you find it weird on her, for she seemed barely in her eighteens) girl, who escorted you and the blond lady to her mistress. The mistress, a lady by the name Yuyuko Saigyouji, acknowledged that you are indeed skillful and bids you to work for her. You, smitten on the first sight to the lady's helper, agreed on the spot.

You and the helper quickly know each other, and you get her name: Youmu Konpaku. On the course of a few months, you two worked well, tending the seemingly-endless sakura garden and doing odd jobs around the tower. The comfort of each other's company soon blossomed to love, and finally you confessed. Youmu was red all over (to the point you worried for her health) when she heard your confession, but she accepts. That night would then be a night you'll forever remember.

The mistress soon found out that her two servants was an item, and gladly wed the two of you. The ceremony was small; with the guests being only the lady who brought you here and her two shikigami, but Youmu and you are very happy. A few month of wedded bliss follows.

Nevertheless, the months passed by, and one day Youmu was assigned to gather some essences by her mistress. You were charged with the safety of the tower. Her search was successful, and the garden soon became lively with sakura blooms.

Nevertheless, not everyone is happy: The Tower soon was invaded by two outsiders with overwhelming strength. They are very strong, and the resident ghosts and fairies meant little to them. Even Youmu's individual skill wasn't enough. You soon come to her aid, and the fight was even again. You took on the white-black invader in the double-duel, and finally you two overpowered the invaders after a long fight. Desperate, the black-white invader used her final weapon, intending to obliterate Youmu and everything else behind her. You knocked your wife out of the way like a good husband should, and managed to dodge on time with your uberspeed. You two then proceeded to SMITE SOME EVIL and beat the stuffing out of the invaders.

The Tower was safe from invasion, but Youmu became curious about the origin of your fighting speed. She had her suspicions before, but after the fight she grew more curious since it can’t be natural. Thinking that it won’t do any harm, you told her that an old man taught you and described the old man.

Unexpectedly, Youmu grew bitter on you. After a few hostilities and confrontation, she confided that the one who taught you your uberspeed was none other than Youki Konpaku, Youmu’s father. She was bitter for the fact that Youki left her in Hakugyoukurou without any apparent reason, and never got around to finish her training as a swordmaster.

You two remained relatively hostile to each other for the duration of the next few weeks. Then it dawned on you that Youki never gave any restrictions on which you could or could not teach, and you had an idea to complete Youmu’s sword arts training. Setting out to mend your relationship, you presented the idea to Youmu. She hesitates at first, knowing that your mastery on the art is probably only as shallow as she did. To her surprise, you managed to beat her consistently using Youki’s teachings, and she relented. You two train and do jobs at daytime, and have sweet tender love in the evening.

Finally, you came to the point that you could no longer teach Youmu; in fact, your body is deteriorating at a faster rate due to constrain that the Konpaku sword arts put on your human body. You told Youmu this, and said that you shall give her the final test that her father gave you. Youmu hesitated, but due to her ego she accepted.

The next morning (after an all-night love-love session), you did what your master did: challenge Youmu to a final, no-holds-barred duel to the death. Youmu, while hesitant, retaliates after a few blows. Your fight with Youmu escalates from being a fight to a spectacle, and like your duel with Youki, spills out to the entirety of Gensokyo. Nobody stopped the two of you, who were exchanging blows in a speed that made a fleeing fly seem to be standing still.

In a final gambit, Youmu used her near-c spellcard. You retaliated with a sword-draw technique, one of your pre-Youki-tutelage expertises. The fight comes to an end.

Torn, battered, and exhausted to the point that no mortal could ever recover from even assisted, you lay bloody and spent in Youmu’s arms. Youmu was crying her heart out, knowing that she both loved and despised you. She hated you for having been taught to perfection by her beloved father, but she loved you because you’ve been the greatest companion that a woman could ever ask for.

In your dying breath, you gazed to Youmu’s body and found a long, bloody gash on her side: a testament of your abilities. A testament that even a mortal man can overcome a being that had much higher potential, you find that your life had completed its full circle. Having carved your mark on the woman you love, you died, fulfilled and smiling.

Then you woke up in a canoe. You learnt from the boatlady, Komachi that you’re dead and this is the journey to the Court of Death. You then were judged by Shiki (she was rather impressed with your past records), and were promptly set for reincarnation with full memories of your past life.

You then woke up in a familiar place, and realized that your body had no weight whatsoever. You hover a few feet over the floor, and found Youmu lay sleeping in her futon. You had become Youmu’s guardian ghost.

Yet, happiness quickly turned to horror as you found that nobody could hear you, and nobody save Yuyuko could distinguish you from random ghosts. Youmu loves you to an extent, but not like before. Yuyuko doesn’t help much either, since what she did was only dropping faint hints to Youmu that you’ll be forever with her.

From that day on, people recognized that Youmu’s ghastly half become more prominent and distinguishable from before. Nobody knows why, save you. Youmu went from one relationship from another (generally one in a few decades), but none worked out. Someone said that it’s because of her ghost, but Youmu was never the wiser.

Marisa Kirisame...? (by Raiyt, 2008-03-09)

You are running through the Forest of Magic, swiftly losing all pursuit from the troublesome fairies that seem so angry at you. You only ate three or four, and that's because you were really hungry. It's not like you'd eat them all the time, you always get gas after too many fairies. Then there's the other trouble. You remember that with disgust as you claw at your teeth. Fairy bits stuck in between your teeth. Ugh. They take forever to work their way loose too. Oh well, that's what you get for being lazy.

You've managed to lose the fairies, finding yourself near a small house in the forest. The first thing to cross your mind is to break the window, jump in, then eat whoever is inside. However, you decide that fairy snack was enough after all, and it's naptime.

You are a large velociraptor. Possibly the only one of your kind alive, you aren't terribly upset about the situation. Life is pretty good. Sure, there are a few meaty treats out there that fight back, and some that are just plain scary. You've learned to sniff out the dangerous ones, giving them a wide berth. However, you're bored. Most other things are either terrified that you will eat them (which you are more than happy to do) or angrily territorial. There was that one that looked like it wanted to eat you, good thing it wasn't really interested in a chase.

As you lay down for a quick nap, you hear the sound of the house's door opening. At attention, you prepare to eat whatever it is that dares interrupt. Your keen nose suggests otherwise though, this one can fight back. It also smells worse than you do, a pungent blend of mushrooms, various magical paraphernalia, and you think maybe fairy blood, although that could just be your last snack. Probably not though. It appears to be a human in black and white clothing, with long light colored hair. You're tired, but you tense up anyway, ready to flee at the first sign of aggression. That never comes. It looks at you curiously, then beckons in a soft, high pitched voice.

Those must have been filling fairies, because you don't feel the normal urge to eat this soft meaty creature. You step over slowly, letting curiosity get the better of you for a moment. The creature reaches out its soft, blunt claw and strokes your side gently. Huh. That felt pretty good. You lay down by this creature's feet, and it begins to scratch at your neck softly. Ahh... naptime.

A little while later, you are rudely awakened by a weight climbing on your back. What manner of absurdity is this? Has the creature decided it would ride upon your back? Clearly so, as a high voice calls out as if to stir you. If it wants a ride, a ride it shall get. You tear through the forest at top speed, dashing through low branches and narrow passages. However, a strange glowing light seems to race ahead of you, burning the path wide enough to accommodate this rider. Meh. Suddenly, something catches your interest. Another soft meaty creature, this one with wings like a mix between a human and a bird. Moments later, you overtake this creature, biting through its throat. The black and white creature (It looks like a human, but it seems different, and it sure doesn't smell like one), leaps off your back, laughing. You begin to take a bite out of the winged human, but the black and white one pushes you back. You snarl. Fun is fun, food is food! However, the creature somehow creates fire from nothing, and holds a part of the winged human's corpse over the fire for a moment, before handing it to you. Hmm... Tasty! Fire makes food better! Human invention is amazing. The creature takes a small part of the winged human for herself. You grunt with some annoyance. Your kill, your food. Oh well, it's more than a full meal anyway.

After eating your fill, the creature climbs upon your back again. This is not a particularly agreeable arrangement. Then again, it is an interesting companion. As you race through the forest once again, you come upon another house, this one with a foreboding air about it. Your companion leaps off in mid run, landing safely at the door of this house. From within, two beings emerge. One is a small creature, like a fairy, but with the smell of a long-dead tree. The other also appears mostly human, also with pale hair and a lighter colored outfit. However, this one does not smell simply of unpleasant magic and traces of blood. This one smells terrible beyond comprehension, as if it neither bathed nor shed its skin in months. Your companion greets the other creature, and they begin to talk. The tree fairy examines you closely, you snort in disinterest. However, when it begins to prod at your nostril, that is provocation enough. You bite it in half effortlessly. It tastes like a tree. You let the half-body fall out of your mouth, and it eerily floats back towards the lower half still suspended in mid-air. The pungent creature begins to shout at you, and you snarl, ready to bite it in half as well. However, your companion swats you on the nose and points far outside the forest. You do not understand this human language, but it's clear that your companion no longer wants anything to do with you. Fine. No more sharing food then, that's just fine.

As you sulk away, you look back at the two creatures. They seem to be engaged in some sort of wrestling match, while attempting to consume each other's faces. Meh. Humans and their ilk are impossible to understand. It's a lonely world out there for a velociraptor.

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