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As time went by, I became more and more mobile and healthy, but at the same time, more and more depressed. Every time I looked at the watch, it only made me feel worse, and even homesick.
Yuka’s words echoed in my head every time I watched the news, the world was corrupt, the news was dominated by death, wars and misery. No matter where you looked, there just seemed to be nothing good about anything. Not even the others in the hospital seemed friendly, just self-centred and only caring for their own well-being.
No matter what I did, I always ended up comparing it to Gensokyo, and every time, this world came up second. Even though there was supposedly a god, they never made themselves known or seem to care, nor were they listened to, everything just seemed to suggest that the world was in declining. In the back of my mind, the whole situation just made me feel like I’d end up getting killed by someone, but then again, I’m sure Yuka would be no different.
I knew one thing for sure though, was that I hated this world. If the opportunity let itself known, I’d go back to Gensokyo without a second thought. But unless Yukari Yakumo turned up through a gap offering a one-way trip to Gensokyo, there wasn’t much hope.
There’s always one way.
I can’t say I wanted to take that choice though, what if it was all just a dream?
You never have dreams, never mind one as advanced as that.
There was still the chance it was a dream though.
Why have you got that watch then?
I probably just hit my head and forgot I owned it before.
What’s there to lose?
My mind was a wreck, arguing with itself, do I take the ultimate gamble to go back to Gensokyo?
My mind drifted back, to the thought that had been bothering me. “Youkai are the free souls of those who died in the real world, and ended up here rather then reincarnating. Since the souls are free and immortal, they become youkai.”
But how does one avoid reincarnation? Perhaps one just wishes for it.
And maybe it’ll be easier since I’ve been there before.
As every moment passed, I found myself more and more tempted to go through with it. But how? I didn’t want a painful or slow death, so messing with any of the medicine or anything would be out of the question, as was the use of a knife. A gun would have been handy, but there was no way I was going to get one, especially in a hospital.
What about, falling?
No, I can’t do that… Could I? In theory, it sounded all right, it’s not too long, the mess is completely irrelevant to me and it’ll feel like flying right?
After my decision, I spent a few more days inside the hospital, continuing to think about it, until something made me decide to go ahead with it, thankfully the hospital had a rooftop at a decent height, and it was accessible if you could run fast or be slightly stealthy.
I waited another hour or so, got properly dressed and set off, for the last time.
I can’t believe I’m going through with this.
The journey was pleasantly uneventful, since I didn’t look injured and dressed casually; there wasn’t any suspicion on me and I stepped onto the roof surprisingly easy. They really need better security.
I nervously walked to the edge of the building, the determination from before had dropped slightly, fine, I had got used to flying around with Yuka, but not this high.
It’s worth it, right?
I stood at the end and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind blasting me compared to being holed up for the last few days.
“S-Stop, don’t do it!” A voice interrupted the moment of surreal tranquillity. “Please don’t jump!”
I turned to see that it was the nurse from before accompanied by a police officer, who for some absolutely absurd reason was holding a stun gun. Not the best thing for this situation really.
Well, you’ve got yourself in a situation now; either you jump, or probably get locked away in a mental care home since you now look officially insane.
“Move away from the edge and lie down!” The policeman started to bark orders.
I grinned and looked forward, “There’s only one person who has a chance of giving me orders.” I held out my arm in the air like I was used to when flying, and leapt while shouting, “Sorry!” Slightly more cheerful then it should have been.
One thing I was right about, I was used to the sensation of falling, it didn’t feel too bad, until I spun upside down, which I wasn’t enjoying and soon enough it became apparent it was going to be a head-first impact.
Definitely no turning back now. This was the right choice, right?
Finally, the ground was only a few metres away, and this gamble would be over, and then all too familiar, time began to slow down, leaving me upside down and my head barely centimetres away from the floor.
This is really getting annoying now. In my mind, I considered myself a veteran since I’ve experienced death three times in the last week now.
I took my last view of the technological maze that was the city, before the gears of time turned once again and a split second later, my thoughts ended.
I… I’m alive?
I was once again in the state where I had woken up in an unknown location. This time it didn’t take long for me to open my eyes and to be greeted by the sight of a flower field, with the Kazami mansion looming in the distance.
I put my hands to the ground to push myself up, but noticed for some reason my head was tilted to the side at an unhealthy 90-degree angle. After pushing it slightly it seemed to crack back into place, and everything seemed back to normal.
The next thing I noticed was that my fresh attire I had worn for my leap had disappeared and had been replaced with my forced blue attire.
This time around, I felt surprisingly healthy, and was able to pick myself up fairly quickly, compared to the previous times I was completely sapped of energy. I really must be a youkai now.
Well, there was only one thing left now, I began my walk over to the mansion, which as I expected hasn’t changed a bit, it had only been a few days since I left. I wondered for a moment, how long I’ll be a youkai for, but I blew the thoughts away, I had no intention of anything like that.
It wasn’t long before the door stood in front of me, Well, here goes. I knocked on the door a few times and waited. To my disappointment, there was no response. I knocked the door for longer and louder this time and waited again, once again to no response.
I searched my pockets and looked at the time, it was still morning, so she shouldn’t have gone to the field yet. For the final time, I knocked on the door, even louder and waited. “What the hell do you want?!” A voice growled from the other side of the door before the door started to open. “Have you got a death wish, or… something?” Yuka’s expression turned from furious to confused as she saw me.
“I’ve, come back… I… didn’t like that world, so I thought I’d come back.” I said, awkwardly.
“So I can see.” Yuka smiled, a few seconds went by, “So, what is your name then? You seemed eager to find out.”
I paused for a moment, “… Haru.”
Yuka smiled before stretching out and hugging me, Whoa, a Yuka hug, now that’s a rarity, I wonder if I just hit my head too hard?
I felt a drop of water hit me on the back of the neck and a few seconds later Yuka spoke again, “Oh, looks like rain, come on, let’s go inside.”
As Yuka walked away, I thought to myself, coming back had to be the right choice.
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