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ReimuBob HakureiPants - I Was a Teenage Genji

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This is a fan fiction.

  • Reimu: [Genji is on his exercise wheel] Exercise time is over, Genji. [takes Genji off his wheel] We don't want you getting too thin. [holds up a green, squishy ball] Here, boy. Fetch! [throws it and Genji goes after it but at a slow pace. Reimu checks her watch and goes sits on a chair and takes out the newspaper to read. Morning arrives and Reimu is asleep in the chair. Genji crawls up to Reimu and spits out the ball]
  • Genji: Meow.
  • Reimu: Huh? [sees the ball on the ground] Good job Genji! [She jumps to Genji] I love you Genji! [She starts scratching Genji] Genji Genji Genji Genji Genji! [Genji climbs up on Reimu, tickling her] Ha Ha! Down boy! Ha ha! [Marisa comes through the door]
  • Marisa: Reimu! Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?
  • Reimu: For what?
  • Marisa: The annual bakebake convention in Human Village this weekend! [shows her bakebake catching net off until she breaks something and blushes with embarrassment] So, you ready or what?
  • Reimu: That was this weekend? [She looks up at Genji who's still crawling all over her trying to tickle her] I can't go! I don't have anyone to take care of Genji! [There's a knock on the door. Mima is seen outside. The door opens, but the first thing Mima sees is Genji on Reimu's head. She looks down at Reimu and reveals a pair of panties]
  • Mima: Would you please stop leaving your panties on my front lawn?
  • Reimu: Mima, could you watch Genji this weekend?
  • Mima: What's a Genji?
  • Reimu: Not a Genji...Genji. He's my pet turtle. [shows Genji to Mima] Say hello! [Genji is drooling a lot]
  • Mima: Yuck. You actually care for that thing?
  • Reimu: I love Genji!
  • Mima: Well, I don't. Get somebody else. [walks off]
  • Reimu: I guess we can't go away this weekend after all, Marisa. [Mima stops]
  • Mima: Go away? [walks back to Reimu's shrine] You mean, if I watch Genji, you guys will be gone all weekend?
  • Reimu: Actually, a three day weekend.
  • Mima: As in, not here for three days?
  • Reimu: Yeah, but you've already said you can't do it, we understand.
  • Marisa: Don't feel bad, Mima. The three of us can still have our own bakebake convention at your house!
  • Mima: I changed my mind. You guys deserve a weekend away.
  • Reimu: You'll do it? Great! Let me show you a little bit about turtle care. You need to take Genji for a walk... [Reimu explains the daily routine with Genji but Mima is thinking of how much fun she'll have with Reimu & Marisa away]
  • Mima: Friday, Saturday and Sunday. A three-day weekend.
  • Reimu: Let me show you how to feed him. [opens a cabinet with a bunch of barrels of Genji's food] The cans are all marked, a can in the morning and a can at night.
  • Mima: Sure it's enough? [bus drives up to the shrine with other bakebake catchers inside]
  • Group: Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching!
  • Marisa: The bus is here! The bus is here! [crashes through the wall and through the bus leaving her shape through each hole] C'mon, Reimu!
  • Group: Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching!
  • Mima: [pushing Reimu out of the house] Well, time to go. Don't want to be late. Have fun, bye-bye.
  • Reimu: Now, you won't forget my instructions, will you?
  • Mima: I have the memory of an elephant, I'll take good care of Benji.
  • Reimu: Genji.
  • Mima: Right, yeah, right. [bus drives off] Bakebake catching! Bakebake catching! So long, losers! [laughs with joy] They're gone! [runs inside her house. Genji peeks his eyes out the window]
  • Genji: Meow.
  • Mima: [comes out with shorts on and her nose with sunscreen on it and a chair. Unfolds the chair and sits on it] This is going to be the best three days of my life. [sighs and lays back with a sun reflector in front of her] I'm going to do all the things I can't normally do because of Reimu. [The time card "3 Days Later" appears, and now Mima is badly sunburned, The bus comes back as the group is chanting "bakebake catching"] Well, thus ends the greatest weekend of my life. No Reimu, no Marisa, nothing but me, me, me. [Mima sees Genji through the window. Genji growls. Mima's sunburn drains and she screams] The turtle! I forgot the turtle! [runs inside the shrine where Genji is old and withered on the floor. Mima takes him inside to the kitchen] I've got to do something. [takes all the barrels of food and puts it in his bowl] Ok, ok, ok. Here we go. Here we go. Right here. [throws the food at Genji trying to get him to eat it] Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. You've gotta finish this food!
  • Reimu: See you later, Marisa.
  • Mima: Come on, eat! Eat!! EAT!!! [Reimu gets her house key out. Mima has to decide about the food] Ohh...
  • Reimu: [sticks the key in the hole and opens the door] Genji! I'm home!
  • Mima: [greets Reimu with a head full of Genji's food that she ate] Hi, Reimu.
  • Reimu: Mima! What are you doing here? [Mima swallows all the food]
  • Mima: Oh, just checking up on old Genji for you.
  • Reimu: What a great friend you are, Mima.
  • Mima: So, uhh, well, see you. Good-bye.
  • Reimu: Thanks, Mima. [Genji crawls to Reimu still old and wrinkly] I can always count on you. [Genji moans and Reimu screams] Genji! Genji, what's happened to you? What's wrong? Mima, something's wrong with Genji! Mima! [Mima frowns because she can't leave. Later, the doctor's turtle-mobile is in front of the shrine]
  • Yumemi: Yes, yes, it's just as I thought.
  • Reimu: What?
  • Yumemi: This is definitely a turtle.
  • Reimu: I knew it! Oh Mima, did you hear that?
  • Yumemi: Therefore, a shot of turtle plasma must be carefully administered. Here you go. [hands the shot to Reimu]
  • Reimu: Aren't you going to do it?
  • Yumemi: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm too squeamish. [doctor leaves. Mima runs after her]
  • Mima: Uhh, hey, doc, let me help you with your bag there.
  • Reimu: Mima, wait! I can't give Genji his plasma. I'm squeamish too.
  • Mima: Aww, Reimu, I don't want to do... [Genji moans and coughs badly]
  • Reimu: Genji!
  • Mima Ok, ok, I'll do it. [takes the shot]
  • Reimu: Now, don't hurt him, Mima. Ok, ok, steady. [Mima tries to give Genji the shot but Reimu pulls him away] Wait, that's too hard. Ok, ok, ok, try it again. [Mima keeps trying but gets the same result every time]
  • Mima: Will you hold him still? [turtle plasma shot in Reimu's nose]
  • Reimu: OW! Mima, you just injected me with turtle plasma.
  • Mima: Well, you made me do it.
  • Reimu: What's going to happen to me?
  • Mima: Oh, nothing, it's just a little turtle plasma.
  • Reimu: I don't know, I feel kind of funny!
  • Mima: I'm telling you, it's all in your head. [Genji crawls to his water bowl to get a drink. After drinking the water, he gargles, clears his throat, and meows normally again.] He just needed water?
  • Reimu: Oh, Genji, you're better! [hugs him]
  • Mima: Oh, how touching. I'm going to go home and throw up. Good night.
  • Reimu: Mima, wait, the turtle plasma!
  • Mima: Trust me Reimu, nothing's going to happen to you. You're fine. [closes door]
  • Genji: Meow.
  • Reimu: Don't worry Genji, Mima says I'll be fine. She knows everything. So, you hungry?
  • Genji: [jumps up] Meow! [Reimu pours food into Genji's bowl but decides to see what it tastes like. She likes it so she eats all of it. Then walks to Genji with the empty bowl]
  • Reimu: Here ya go. Eat up, Genji.
  • Genji: Meow?
  • Reimu: Sorry Genji, I couldn't control myself. [burps] Meow. Why did I just do that? Am I cracking up?
  • Genji: Meow.
  • Reimu: No, no, Mima's right. I'm fine. I-I worry too much. It's all in my head. I feel tip-top! [Reimu begins to walk out of the kitchen. Her feet make loud pounding noises as they hit the floor, and she begins to go slower and slower. Soon Genji is going faster then she is.]
  • Reimu: Genji, you're getting a [voice slows, lowers] lot faster! [Reimu sluggishly walks into the bathroom, and Genji follows her. She looks in the mirror, and her voice echoes as she speaks.]
  • Reimu: Look at me. Never better. [She yelps as dramatic music begins to play in the background. Her head begins to throb, and her bow begins to grow and shrink, before returning to normal.] I'm okay! Mima said I'm fine! [What she doesn't realize is that the worst is yet to come. Her eyes bug out of her head, causing her to yell. The camera rotates around so we can get a side view of Reimu. She blinks, and her eyes briefly pop back into her head and return to normal. But this relief only lasts for about half a second. Then, her eyes bulge out even farther than before, and it looks very unnatural. They bulge for a while, and then they begin to transform, taking the shape and form of turtle eyes, with stalks. The sight causes Reimu's jaw to drop, and she screams louder. Reimu stares in the bathroom mirror at her brand-new eyestalks, which now have skin and eyelids around them. She turns to Genji.]
  • Reimu: Genji... I'm fine! [But Reimu is not fine. Genji watches in horror as his owner falls onto her hands and knees, straining in pain.]
  • Reimu: [in so much pain that she is barely comprehensible] Yyyyyy-yyyooooou'll see. [grunts and strains as her hand and arm slowly retract into her sleeve, which then pops off and bounces away] That's okay, I'm a lefty anyway! [Then, Reimu's feet and legs retract into her hakama.]
  • Reimu:  [laughs nervously] Ha! Now I don't have to buy those new shoes! [her body shortens up like a turtle and she screams] I take it back, Genji. Something is wrong with meeeeeow!
  • Mima: [in her bed] I hope I never see another turtle again. Good night, Clary. [knock on door and doorbell rings] I wonder who that could be as if I didn't already know. [Mima walks to the door and opens it] Reimu, I already told you. You're gonna be just fi-i-i... [Reimu is a fully breeded turtle now]
  • Reimu: Meow!
  • Mima: [screams]
  • Reimu: Meow! Meow. [Mima touches Reimu's left eye and it curls up]
  • Mima: [screams and runs back inside shutting the door] Reimu? Oh, Shinki, what have I done? [picks up the turtle plasma shot] It's all your fault. [throws it away] Ok, ok, ok, ok, get it together, Mima.
  • Reimu: Meow! [Mima screams and puts boards on her door. She turns around and Reimu is at her window] Meow. Meow. [Mima screams] Meow! [Mima puts more boards on her window but Reimu squeezes through the boards' holes] Meow. Meow. [Mima screams and runs into her closet]
  • Mima: None of this would be happening if I'd only fed the turtle! [Reimu squeezes in from under the door, and meows. Mima screams and runs through her door, Reimu meows, Mima runs up and down her ceiling while Reimu keeps meowing at her. Outside, her house is bouncing from side to side until it's flipped on its side completely. Everything is broken and torn inside. Mima sits up but is injected with the turtle plasma through her nose]
  • Mima: Uh-oh! [turns into a turtle. Now Reimu, Mima, and Genji are on a fence singing "Blow the Man Down"]
  • Genji: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G], meow [Eb] .
  • Reimu: Meow [G], meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G] .
  • Mima: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Ab], meow [G], meow [Ab], meow [F] .
  • Genji: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G], meow [Eb] .
  • Reimu: Meow [G], meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G] .
  • Mima: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Ab], meow [G], meow [Ab], meow [F] .
  • Genji: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G], meow [Eb] .
  • Marisa: [Marisa is wearing pajamas] Will you clam up?! [throws a boot]
  • Mima: Meow [Bb], meow [C] ... Arf! [boot knocks her off the fence]
  • Genji: Meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G], meow [Eb] .
  • Reimu: Meow [G], meow [Bb], meow [C], meow [Bb], meow [G] .
  • Mima: Meow [Bb], meow [Bb], meow [Bb], meow [Bb], meow [Ab], meow [G], meow [Ab], meow [F], meow [Eb] [episode ends]

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