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It was a full moon tonight, and was the color of blood. Normally I would shrug it off but today I feel that something is going to happen, since I do have a sixth sense. Anyway, it was kinda creepy how the moon could become a bloody red and it feels a little eerie. That and how everyone gets to stay inside the mansion except me. I sometimes wonder about my life which I seem to be wasting being a gatekeeper. Everyone torments me whenever I take a break, especially Sakuya. But then again, the Scarlet Devil Mansion would have been invaded and destroyed over countless times if I wasn't here. Yes, I am the great gate guard Hong Meiling! Guardian of the S.D.M, protector of the Scarlet Sisters, a master of Chinese martial arts and the bearer of the biggest breasts in the entire mansion!
"I see you're slacking off again Meiling."
I turned and saw Sakuya.
"Wait, I wasn't slacking off! I was...err...I was..."
"Save it. I don't have time for this. Tonight is the night of the Hunters moon and I have an important mission." Sakuya told me.
Important mission? Important enough not to impale me with knifes? Wow it must be really special.
"I see. Well, have fun then Sakuya! I'll do my best to guard the gate."
Sakuya came so close to my face I could practically smell her breath and everything she ate. She must have had another helping of garlic bread, about 3 slices (phew, it stinks), 2 cups of tea and some coffee. I felt like passing out but I knew if I did Sakuya would be all over me again.
"You better not slack off while I am gone, cause if I get back and if even one, just one, single living creature gets in I will cut apart each and every limb on your body and throw you into the underworld myself. Understand?" She threatened with a cold whisper.
Normally, i'm used to her death threats, but tonight's sounded especially scary.
"Ye...Yes ma'am. Un...understood ma'am." I was able to reply.
"Good, now I have to go."
She walked about few second and stopped.
"Wait, I actually do have time to spare."
At that moment, I knew it was going to be another night of living hell.
After a few minutes (or seconds. I wasn't able to count since Sakuya stopped time repeatedly.) of impaling and cutting me, Sakuya finally left. Mind you that it hurt a lot and I even felt like crying. I always wondered what her problem was,but I guess the most obvious is that she's jealous of my breasts. (did you know that Sakuya's breast score was five out of forty in the Ms.Gensokyo competition? I was able to score a total of thirty out of forty. I think the one who won was some woman by the name of Eirin Yagokoro who was able to score a thirty-nine out of forty last time. It was surprising and I actually think she cheated but it didn't really matter to me that much. It was after that day that Sakuya started going after me) I was able to recover in no time thanks to the power of my Chi (which is really useful in combat and self-healing) and I was back to guarding the gate. It was an extremely boring job since hardly anyone ever comes near our mansion, and I don't blame them unless they want to die or are just very, very stupid.
"This is so boring it makes reading look fun."
"That's because reading is fun..."
I turned around and saw Patchouli,which was pretty surprising since that girl never leaves her room.
"lady Patchouli, you're outside? Wow, this is one weird night" I joked.
"Those who do not understand the events will never understand life"
"Wha...? I think...you got that phrase wrong"
"...Oh, you're right."
The thing about Patchouli is that how she would try to make up her own philosophical phrase but she seems to always get them mixed up. I think she should either stick with reading and magic start buying some fortune cookies.
"So why are you out here lady Patchouli?"
"You haven't noticed?"
"Um, noticed what?"
"Oh, yeah I know. It's blood red tonight. I do find it a bit eerie but it's pretty normal."
"To have a red moon is not natural, especially in august."
"What do you mean? There's always a red moon every few days on august"
"Tsk,tsk, you do not understand. It seems nobody has noticed yet. This is august, the night of the corn moon."
"So? I don't get what you're saying. Where are you going with this?"
"Never mind. You just stand guard, I'm going to be going out for a while."
I was not sure what was happening but to see Patchouli go outside of her room tonight, there is definitely something weird going on. I want to investigate too, but if I leave something might happen to the mansion. That and Sakuya would kill me. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I got a different job...